This article was previously posted on Thoughtcatalog.com
You. Yeah, you. I See You. I am you. You’re feeling lost, insecure. And think some boy can save you.
I get it, trust me, I get it. But, reality is no boy can save you.
Oh, darling, no one can save you but yourself.
And I wish you saw it. You are worth so much more than the boy that tries to change you. I know you think you love him, and maybe you do. But, let me let you in on a little secret. The boy you love won’t make you change. He won’t sit there asking you to become a better person. He won’t need you to become a better person because you’re already the best person out there.
I know you hear all the negative vibes. The harsh words people said when they thought you couldn’t hear. I know you internalized them. I know you believe them. I know you think they define you.
But baby girl, you are worth so much more.
You are worth finding a guy that wakes up every morning and sees the world in you.
You are worth a guy that tells you, you are beautiful, and you believe it.
But, you don’t believe it. And maybe that’s the problem. You don’t believe any of it. You don’t see the spark in your eye. You don’t see the way you change millions of hearts. You don’t see your opinions and how they’re making an impact. You don’t see any of it all. And I wish you did. Oh darling I wish you did.
But until you see the worth in you, you’ll stay forever a lost, drifting soul. And until you become whole? Well you. Yeah You. I See You. I am you. And if you ever want to talk, I’m just a message away.
I can’t say for sure what the future holds for me, but I do hope that I get to a point where I’m finally happy and OK. I hope I get to a point where I don’t feel the burden of my past mistakes. And to a point where I want to be here and fight this. I know there are no guarantees in life and I can’t say what tomorrow holds, but I have a good feeling that it’s going to be better & that there is more to life than just my depression.
You can whip up a fancy dish, but have no idea the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork.
I drink when I’m bored, it’s what millennials do, right; we have a glass of wine to pass the time.
Having an addictive personality means I have to be overly cautious with any substance I choose to try. It means I have to say no, time after time, when my friends ask me if I want to try the latest drug on the market. It means making a conscious decision to never try molly, even while at a music festival. It means drinking, but also realizing when I need to slow down.
You. Yeah You. I see you. I am you.
You’re in your mid 20s.
You’re supposed to be an adult,
All grown-up and ready to conquer the world.
And yet your life feels so damn stagnant.
I was raped at 22.
It’s taken me four years to say that aloud.
If I was being honest, I’d probably admit, I still blame myself for it all.
I got too drunk. I put myself in a position open to be taken advantage of.
I let it happen.
I’ve always been viewed as the sit still, look pretty. The person boys and friends alike assume doesn’t have a nerdy or smart side to her. And on some level, I get it. I spent multiple years in college perfecting the art of being the pretty girl.
But, here I am as an adult, finding myself in a constant upward battle, trying to prove the other sides to me.
Loneliness is so much more than the notion of not having a partner, someone to go through all the chaos with.
It's not defined by all the little moments and activities done with no one by your side.
It hits during your morning commute - a bus filled with people, all headed to their various jobs, all headed alone, & yet you can't help but feel like you're somehow diff. You see them texting & assume they have a SO, a circle of friends. You assume they're less lonely.
You. Yeah you. I see you. I am you.
You find yourself feeling a bit lonely. A bit lost.
You pull out your phone – texting the usual suspects.
It hits in waves and when it does, you have no clue where to run.